You Are So Emotional!

 
Generally, when labeled “emotional” it is done in a reproving way; one who habitually gives into the tide of your unbridled emotions; one who is “Inspired or governed by emotion rather than reason or will-power”. It is not uncommon to picture an emotional you as someone trapped by your reactionary responses  -generally negative, and always out of your control- to the things, people and places around you. For instance…

• You can’t help but feel overwhelmingly sad and lonely when rejected by a loved one. You then give into the sluggishness that follows, you neglect the important things and people in your life and you become a recluse, enveloped in your own emotional cocoon, distant from the world around you.

• You are quick to anger; almost anything and anyone will send you into a rage, paralyzing your reason and unleashing a torrent of emotions typically dominated by verbal and physical violence.

•  Ill informed by your emotions, you turn your back on your aspirations, your friends and your family in blind pursuit of a future with another.

Like these, there are plenty of examples why “emotional” people are not the kind you want to be labeled as. There is too much of nothing good, nothing smart, nothing worthy associated with being emotional, this is why no one wants to be labeled emotional these days. To be called such is to be tabbed a lesser person, incapable of rising to achieve normalcy, incapable of reasoning.  An emotional you, now a days is viewed as someone whose brain has gone on a back seat vacation, someone dominated by brainless basic instincts.

Could it be, however, that as humans we are all emotional beings?  If such is the case, are we the lesser for that? Could it be that even our ability to reason is an emotional response to stimuli?

Yes, yes, there are plenty of reasons why being “emotional” may not be such a good thing, and yet, there are other compelling examples of emotional responses that are deemed good for us: Our ability to give and receive what we know as Love, for instance, that driving force, which motivates us to accomplish the seemingly unattainable. The feelings that drive us to reach out in aid of another who is in peril. And, how about our need to protect our loved ones against any and all danger that may come their way?  

These are all emotional/rational responses informed by our environmental stimuli.

So what is it that I am getting at?

If nothing else, I want you to understand the futility and, ultimately, the damage caused by our inclinations to suppress and deny our emotions. 

To be “emotional” is to be alive.  Emotions are like thoughts, endlessly streaming in and out of our consciousness.  Emotions are bound to dominate your existence until you are no longer.  

Rather than denying or suppressing them, rather than labeling ourselves and others as lesser for expressing them, rather than creating a dividing line between our emotions and our ability to reason, we should tap into our so called Emotional Intelligence to sort through the challenges we face.

So what is Emotional Intelligence?

There are many possible definitions of Emotional Intelligence, which can be found on the Internet. For our present purposes we’ll simply say that Emotional intelligence is our ability to use our emotions to enhance our thought process. In other words, rather than being dominated by, or prisoners to our emotions, we exercise our Emotional Intelligence by using –not denying- our emotions to enhance our decision-making.

So the next time you are at a crossroads -and you will be for sure- grappling with one of those life-altering decisions, be emotional, don’t be crippled by them, or by attempting to denying them; tap into your Emotional Intelligence to process them and find the answers you need. Now, let’s talk about you!