When Love Is No Longer Enough

If you’ve been around long enough, you’ve probably experienced the pain brake ups bring. Each time, no doubt, breaking up was not even a distant thought when you met the one; that special someone with whom you eagerly got on the road to forever. With love as your vessel, you paved away the potholes, swirled around the roadblocks, navigated through the litter, dominated the dangerous curves, the cliffs, and forged your way through the virgin forest of your future together; all the while growing stronger in your love for one another.

And then, seemingly as a surprise, the glue of love is no longer enough to hold your bond together, you begin to drift apart; your once parallel tracks are now blazing their own trails, away from the other. The when, the how, the why this happened diminished in importance as you busied yourself carving out a new vision of life without the other. The important regrets are only those, which remind you of your bond, and arrest you from your future without it. You can’t quite remember, or even want to, what it was that brought you together; all you want is to be free of the burden of this relationship.

And still, your newfound hunger for independence is fraught with guilt, dominated by worries and sleeplessness. Your agony gets more acute as you are aware of the love you still have for the other. Afraid of the pain of the separation, you resort to alternatives that only keep you lingering on, souring the sweet, postponing the inevitable, and increasing the pain. You’ve lost yourself in the process. You no longer recognize the reflecting mirror image of yourself gazing back at you. It’s time to break away.

When love is no longer enough, try holding on to your true identity.  Be honest with yourself and with your partner.  Caring candor will sooth the wounds and the pain of the separation. If possible, try having a conversation to come up with, and implement, an exit plan.  If this is not possible, seek the help of an arbiter, a professional go-between, to help you sort through the pressing issues. Be considerate of your feelings and those of your partner.

When love is no longer enough, emotions are raw; your spirit is vulnerable and susceptible to wounds and permanent scars. Seize upon your dignity and your integrity to pull you through the seemingly endless darkness that remains.

If there are children involved, remember their feelings; attend to their needs.  Talk with them; be sure to clear them of any and all responsibility in the matter, as they no doubt will default to blaming themselves for the split when love is no longer enough.

When love is no longer enough to glue, use it to forge a new relationship, a budding friendship. Bear in mind that good people are not always meant to be together in a relationship. You are still good, just not for the other in that way.  Find the courage within you to embrace your new reality and begin to build the healing process for yourself and your loved ones.

As experience shows over and again, this too shall pass, time will ameliorate the situation, the pain will subside and you will be left to live the new reality you create when love is no longer enough. Let’s talk about you!