Me, MY FRIENDS, And I

I could take this chance to go on, and on about an intellectual, politically correct and self-righteous idea of friendship. I could stand on a pedestal of moral platitudes and preach to you about what being a friend really is. Easier yet, I could cough up self-serving examples of friendships in my own life.


Aside from possibly impressing you as you read along, what good would it be to you? How will that improve your relationships? What would be your take away?


Truth be told, I don’t know of any “how to” manual with prescriptions on building a time-tested friendship. All I know for sure is that you first have to care to be a friend, to have a friend.


What am I saying?
I’m saying that regardless of the passage of time and regardless of the circumstances, a friend is someone with whom you care to let go and be yourself. In other words, care, trust, honesty and emotional integrity are at the core of being/having a friend.


Huh?
Try learning about someone you don’t care for.
Try letting go and being yourself with someone you can’t trust.
Try being honest with someone you know is not honest with you.
Try pouring your emotions out to someone you fear might turn against you.


Of course you cannot!


The true measures of friendship, thus, are not time and circumstance, but care, trust, honesty and emotional integrity.


In time friends will come and go in and out of our lives, each leaving their own little lesson-bits for us to learn. Given the circumstances, friends are sure to lie to us, they are sure to disappoint, sure to betray, sure to hurt. More over, we are just as likely to do the same to them. And, if we’ve been lucky enough to deposit valuable assets in the emotional bank account we started with our friend, we’ll find enough care, plenty of trust, sufficient truth, and adequate emotional integrity to move on and continue being friends.


These elements are why we feel as though it was just a moment ago when we hear from a friend who we haven’t seen or heard from in years. It’s because of these that we can pick up the conversation right where we left off, despite the passage of time. These are what compel us to embrace and forgive in the face of hurt and disappointment. These are the elements which allow a perfect stranger an intimate window into our lives, if only fleetingly.


Yes, my friend, I am such because you care; I am such because you trust me; I am such because you believe in me; I am such because you can be yourself with me.

So, the next time you are tempted to question if your friends are truly such, find out if you really care, and why. Find out if you really trust. Seek to know if you can truly be yourself around this or that friend you question. Your answers will give you what you seek.

Relationships, and more specifically friendships, are as fluid as we are. You are not the person you were ten, five, or even two days ago. Change and evolution are the only constants informing your identity. Embrace your own evolution to allow room for your friendships to evolve with you. Now, let’s talk about you!