You Lie!

Many of us remember that utterance cast at President Obama, as he addressed Congress, by some attention craver sitting in the crowd. While today we have become accustom to, and indeed expect, repeated evidence of our politicians interesting relationship with the truth, in that particular instance, that phrase, targeted at this particular president, was widely viewed as false and inappropriate.

The truth is, each day we awake to a myriad of lies as we go about our lives. Joining politicians in this practice are a number of characters in the public sphere: celebs, media talking heads, and big corporate figureheads, to name a few.  And that doesn’t bother us as much.

Why, you ask?

Because these cases are not personal to us.

In our interpersonal relationships, however, we don’t dismiss lying so easily.

Why is this?

Take a moment to think about it:

What if you awake one day to find that your parents are not really your parents?

What if you stumble up on that secret affair your spouse, or loved one, has kept from you?

What if you are the one keeping that secret affair?

Our interpersonal relationships are fraught with the purest of emotions. Assuming they are built on trust, we quickly dispel our guard and we deposit our vulnerabilities into the hands of that other. Now, when reality checks in it is often different than expected, bringing disappointment along, and the results can be catastrophically devastating.

Our innate ability, and want, to trust is at the core foundation of our interpersonal relationships; to lie eats away at that foundation and can spell doom to that relationship.

Now, what is a lie, and, why do we lie?

A lie is an intentionally false representation of things, as we know them. Fueled by fear, we lie to avoid the truth and it’s consequences.

At some point, or another, we’ve all given into our shortcomings, doing things we are not so proud of. Owing up to that, however, can be terrifying; we fear loosing life as we know it; loosing the affection of our love-ones, and so, we lie, to find out later that the actual lie was more reprehensible than the action which motivated it in the first place.

Why is this?

Lying directly targets the person we are lying to. Giving into our shortcomings primarily affect us and the other willing partakers.

Think about it. Let’s say, for instance, you are having a secret affair with a third someone.  Only you and this other are affected by the awareness of this affair. If you then lie about it to your other half, well…enough said.

What’s your take away?

Truth = Trust

Lie = Fear 

You decide which of these you want to prevail in your relationship with those you care about. Now, let’s talk about you!