Gossiping 101

I was barely in my twenties then, rooming with other life dreamers, convinced we’d make a significant impact on life as it were; our ticket to success, College. Life was fun, challenging and exhilarating then.  Rooming with like-minded people, however, did little to eliminate the corrosiveness of gossiping among us. 

Guilty as charged, I engaged in gossiping as much as the next guy and girl.  Then something happened.  I found out about some juicy gossip one of my roommates was spreading about me.

Whether it was based on truths or not, is not the point; the point is the devastating effect it had on me: I felt betrayed, angry, hurt. Then, without my wanting, my thoughts shifted to my gossiping roommate and to the equally damaging gossips I’d spread about him.  I realized, then, how hurtful this practice can be, and began my own personal journey of freeing myself from this habit.

Later on, as I fully joined the workforce, I witnessed the damage of idle gossiping in the workplace. Eventhough I no longer work in an office setting, I remember the damage to the bottom line gossip can bring.

The interesting thing is that nowadays when my friends have complaints about their jobs, it is seldom related to the job itself. Often the problems have to do with a coworker: someone said something about another, and then that person… you get the picture.

If You Are The Target Of The Gossip

If you find out about some office gossip about you, the news will put you out of focus, you will be, muddled, unsure of yourself, bewildered. Chances are you will spend more time preoccupied about controlling the damage than you will about your real priority, doing your job.

If the gossip is among your personal friends in your private life, you will begin to question their loyalty and their trustworthiness.

If the gossip is work related, you might fear loosing your job. If it is personal, you may be feeling violated and picked on. 

If you are the target of either type of gossip in the workplace, be proactive, follow the chain of command and visit your Human Resources department. They should have advice for you and ways to handle the situation.

If the gossip is in your personal life’s sphere, do your best to identify the culprit. Have a conversation with this person; find out why they choose to gossip about you. Let them understand the damage it is doing to you, and demand they stop spreading those rumors and retract their statements. This should suffice, and should give you what you need to decide whether to continue a relationship with this person.

No matter what, it’s always in your best interest not to lash out. This will only add drama to an already delicate situation. It may be impossible for you to ignore it, in that case, be the bigger person, choose to take the higher ground.

If you are personally addressed about the gossip by a coworker, refrain from getting into deep discussions about it. Let your boss or Human Resources deal with it.

If a friend other than the gossiper brings it to your awareness, thank them, and do your best to keep your opinions about the gossiper to yourself.

If You Are The Gossiper

Own up to it, at one time or another we’ve all done it. Sometimes we just hear something so juicy that we give into the urge to pass it along, often without thinking about it. In the workplace, however, really think hard before giving into the gossiping urge; your job and the lifeline it brings might be on the line.

In Summary

Nothing good will come of gossiping, stop and think before you engage in this behavior, things you hold near and dear might be loss to you because of gossiping. Enough about gossip; now, let’s talk about you!